


Flashes of Colour to My Heart

by AvengersBarnes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Best Friends, Birthday Presents, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 08:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16740838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengersBarnes/pseuds/AvengersBarnes
Summary: It's the day before Steve's birthday and Natasha is trying to catch up on some paper work when she gets an unexpected visitor.





	Flashes of Colour to My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AstroBookwormSinger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroBookwormSinger/gifts).



> Based on the Prompt: How about a post-TWS AU? Healing!Bucky and Nat go shopping for 4th of July in the same mall Steve is in, also shopping for America’s big day. As they play hide-and-seek while trying to figure out and buy a perfect birthday present for Steve, Nat realises Bucky has a few feelings about Steve he needs to figure out first. 
> 
> This was way longer than I intended. I meant to work on The First Mistake this weekend but this happened instead. 
> 
> Italics means they are speaking in Russian. Not Italics is English

Natasha was sat flicking through some files on her bed. It was midsummer and there was a heatwave in New York which made the city almost unbearable. She barely went out of her apartment until dusk unless there was a mission. The week before she had managed to wrangle a Hydra related mission in New Zealand. For a girl who had grown up in Russia, the colder weather had been blissful but now she was back in the hell hole that was New York City. She sighed and went to grab a bottle of soda from her fridge. Caffeinated sugar was like the worlds most amazing drug for an overworked super spy. She stuck her head in the fridge until she felt comfortably cooler then went to return to her work with a can of heaven in her hand. God she really hated paper work. It took all the fun out of spying on people. 

Except she wasn’t alone anymore. 

Whilst she had been distracted in the kitchen, the Winter Soldier had entered her apartment. She noticed her bedroom window was now ajar and her paperwork had fallen off the bed. In its place was now a very tired looking Bucky Barnes. He was crouched on the mattress as if he was ready to run at any given moment, which he probably was. Natasha knew she had to approach very carefully. Steve would never forgive her if she let Bucky get away again. Of course, she could just not tell Steve but she was trying to be better at trusting people, at trusting friends, and friends told each other when other long lost best friends broke into their apartments. 

“James” She tilted her head and raised her eyebrow at the assassin, maybe ex-assassin. She decided to remain on high alert until she was sure he no longer posed a risk. If Steve were here, he would insist that she had nothing to worry about but she wasn’t so sure. She still had the scars to prove it. 

“ _You are becoming sloppy, Natalia_ ” The Soldier spoke in Russian. It had been a while since she had heard her native tongue and the thick accent startled her. Her memories of her homeland were not pleasant and hearing the language was like ice shooting through her veins. 

“ _Perhaps._ ” She responded in Russian. Her own accent was flawless, as if she had never left the Red Room. “ _Why are you here Soldier_?”

“The fireworks” The Soldier answered in English. He scowled as if he was trying to place a memory from long ago. “The fireworks are important.” 

The plates in his metal arm shifted whilst he thought. Natasha wondered how much of the movement was conscious or whether it was like picking at the dirt under your finger nails, a habit you didn’t even realise you had. One thing was for certain, Tony would have a field day if he ever got a close look at The Soldier’s arm. Considering the tech was from the 70s it was some pretty impressive gear, ghastly but impressive. Natasha quickly made a list of possible fireworks related events that would mean something to Barnes, the closest and most profound of which was the 4th of July; aka Steve’s Birthday. 

“Independence Day?” She queried with a small smile. She knew she was right but it was always good to confirm a hypothesis before you made a plan of attack. Barnes’ eyes shot up to meet hers, they were piercingly shadow blue and full of fear. He reminded her of a cat pushed into a corner, always looking for a way out.

“I can’t remember” His voice was strained and he looked around her small apartment, eyes flicking to every potential exit and weapon. She took a step to the side so she was no longer blocking the doorway. His eyes met hers and he nodded gratefully. She understood, years of conditioning was hard to break. “They never let me remember.” He added weakly. The emotion burning behind his eyes was heartbreaking. For the first time since he arrived, she felt happy that Steve was not here with her. 

“But the fireworks are important.” She prompted. It was the fireworks that had triggered his memories to begin with so it was likely whatever he used to do with Steve had been linked to the colourful explosions. 

“I saw a billboard. I knew it was important. The man on the bridge…” His eyes glazed over as he tried to piece together the facts. “ _I knew him”_

_“You were friends.”_ She admitted, careful not to reveal too much. She knew it was important that he remembered by himself. Otherwise he would never know what memories were real. 

“No.” He shook his head violently and sprung off the bed. Natasha didn’t flinch, not even when his metal fingers pressed against her throat. “ _We were more than that_ ”

“I always suspected.” She whispered under her breath, more to herself than Bucky. She had always suspected that. Steve had never been able to let Bucky go, he had been terrible at forming relationships since and he’d been incredibly happy when he’d been asked to speak at New York’s pride parade the year before. “ _I didn’t think you remembered?”_

“I don’t. I read it in a museum.” Bucky answered. Natasha scowled, there had never been a mention of Steve and Bucky being lovers in a museum. “Best friends since childhood.” He repeated parrot fashion and Natasha resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Did they really not see what she saw?

“Best friends, _my mistake James._ ” She shifted under the pressure of his hand against her skin. The metal was hot, probably from the sunlight outside. It burnt her skin but she didn’t let it show. Bucky would most likely panic if he thought he had hurt her. The Soldier wouldn’t care. Natasha wasn’t particular fond of finding out who had her life in his hands. 

“I get flashes. I saw the billboard… the fireworks. There was a balcony, no, fire escape.” He was lost once more in the memory and his fingers fell down to his side. Natasha took a deep breath in relief. She really had not planned on getting strangled to death by an assassin. She made a note to buy some thinner summer scarves to hide the bruising. She took a sip of her soda and smiled as the cold liquid slid down her throat. 

“A fire escape?” She prompted as The Soldier’s monologue faded to silence. 

“The fireworks” His voice was barely above a whisper, still sucked into whatever memory had been pulling him in. “It was his Birthday…” He smiled dopily and Natasha finally caught a glimpse of the Bucky Barnes that Steve so fondly remembered, the charming ladies man with more charisma that Fred Astaire. It was the smile that Steve sketched almost compulsively in between their attacks on Hydra. It didn’t quite reach his eyes like it did in Steve’s drawings but there was no doubt that it was the same smile. “I used to tell him the fireworks were for his birthday. I wanted him to feel special.”

“You know what really makes people feel special?” She leaned against doorframe. Bucky’s eyes went wide as she moved. She smirked as he tilted his head. The plates in his arm whirring as they shifted. She noted his flesh hand had reached down to grab the handle of a throwing knife tucked into the armour plating on his thigh. She wondered if he would ever be able to break through the instinct to kill at the first sign of trouble. He had been smart enough to recognise she was a threat. 

“ _Go on, Natalia_ ” He reverted back to Russian. Her fingers itched towards the widow bites that were hidden around her waist. Every cell in her body told her that The Soldier was dangerous but he was also Bucky Barnes and he was remembering, slowly but surely. 

“Presents!” She sang with a smile. The Soldier looked incredibly confused by the idea, his brow furrowed and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. 

“Presents” He echoed in a more monotone voice, his Russian accent slowly fading away as their conversation progressed. 

“We’re going shopping. Come on Soldier.” She grabbed her keys and turned her back on the Soldier. It was a bold move but her instincts told her he would follow and Steve’s voice in her ear insisted that he wouldn’t harm her. 

“Yes Ma’am.” He mumbled from behind her in a heavy Brooklyn accent. She laughed and the two ex-assassins made their way into the burning streets of New York 

 

* * *

The lights were too bright, the people were too loud. Could Natalia not see how many threats there were? This was exactly how he was going to die. In this deathtrap called a mall. Shopping had never been like this before. Had it? He couldn’t remember. The clothes he was wearing were strangely comfortable. He still had his combat trousers on, he wouldn’t let Natalia take those from him. He shuddered internally at the sweatpants she had offered him. They were far too baggy and there was no where to hide his knives safely. He liked the thick hoodie she had leant him though. It was obviously not hers, far too large for her petite figure. It was silver and the draw strings, when pulled, tightened the hood around his face. It was strangely comforting and easily masked his metal arm. The letters ‘SR’ were scrawled on the upper arm of the hoodie in dark blue. He guessed that the hoodie probably belonged to a lover or close friend. He had worked enough intelligence missions to notice the signs of love. Love was a weakness to be exploited. His handlers had taught him that.

His eyes scanned the brightly lit hall in front of them, there were children running around and screaming. He too wanted to scream. The children weren’t scared though. He scowled as he watched a small blond child pull their friend towards a toy shop. Both children were shrieking. It must be excitement. The Soldier couldn’t remember screaming with excitement, only fear, only ever fear and pain. 

He turned his attention to the red head. He hadn’t meant to go to her. He wondered if they might have also been friends once upon a time. That wasn’t in the museum though. She was friends with his mission, Steve. He remembered seeing her on the bridge. A sharp pain shot through his brain, a sign he had recognised to mean that his brain was struggling to remember something. He squeezed his eyes together, letting his feet follow the sound of her footsteps. Another memory, he was facing the Widow again, only this time she wasn’t the mission. The mission was behind her. The mission was to kill. So he killed and the Black Widow fell. 

“ _I shot you.”_ He murmured. Natalia didn’t look at him but she hesitated as she walked through the mall. 

“Yes.” He heard her reply. 

“Sorry” The Soldier never apologised but Steve would. Steve never liked bullies. The memory surprised him. Was it a memory? Steve was the man on the bridge, Steve was the boy on the fire escape, Steve was the photograph in a museum. “Am I a bully?” 

This time Natalia did turn to face him. He flinched as her eyes met his, she searched for answers in his face and he waited patiently for her to reach his decision. He dared to hope she would find some good in him. 

“No. I don’t think you are.” She smiled softly which made him feel warm. The Soldier, no, Bucky identified the feeling as happy. Happy felt good. He remembered that Steve made him happy. Steve was good. 

“Good. Steve doesn’t like bullies” He said with a new found conviction. A faint smiled appeared on his face and he began to feel less overwhelmed by the noise and light of the shopping centre.

“So what does a 95 year old man want for his birthday?” The red head asked him with a playful smile as they passed by shop windows. Shopping had definitely changed since before. He had a memory of a colder New York. His fingers were like ice but he couldn’t afford gloves not if he wanted to buy a present. 

“I don’t have money.” His heart sank. The only money he ever acquire was through pick pocketing when he needed it for the mission or the small amounts of cash his handlers would give him if it was required. He didn’t want to pick pocket now. Bucky had never stolen anything. He was sure of that.

“I do. You can pay me back once we’ve proven you’re innocent. I imagine you have a pretty big back pay from the Army.” She laughed. “Steve still isn’t sure what to do with it all. He donates a lot to charity.” The Soldier isn’t sure he that he understand. He is not innocent. He killed people, a lot of people but he doesn’t argue, still afraid that she will change her mind. 

“Steve come on! Just one sparkler, or a candle!” A voice shouted across the crowded room. Natalia pulled him into the nearest shop and he yelped in surprise. She pinned his arms so he couldn’t reach for a weapon and clamped her hand over his mouth. 

“Shit.” She hissed. “Steve’s here. He cannot find us. _Do you understand James?_ ” Steve was here. His Steve. No, not his Steve. His Steve was small and wore shirts that were far too big. The new Steve was at least twice as big and still wore the same size shirt. He’d seen the way the fabric pulled across the muscles on his chest.  He glared at Natalia and tried to sneak a look passed the rows and rows of bras that he was currently pressed against. What kind of shop was this? 

Steve was carrying two large bags of food and had a crate of beer tucked under one arm. The winged man from DC was trailing after him with another bag full of, what looked like, decorations. Steve hadn’t seen him, thanks to Natalia but he wanted to go to the blond man. He was carrying too much. Why wasn’t the Falcon helping him? Just because he had the serum it didn’t mean he didn’t need help. 

“Hmmph” He mumbled against the Widow’s hand. His metal arm reached up to pull her off of him but she shook her head.

“Presents are a surprise, James. Trust me.” She hissed. 

He nodded and let his body relax. Once she was sure he would not run, she let him go. He shook the lacy fabric of the bras off of him and they fell to the floor. She giggled and sent a quick text message on her phone. He had never had one but he had seen plenty of his targets try to use them before the life left their bodies. A quick look across to Steve and his friend, but not best friend, confirmed that Natalia had sent a message to the winged one. He looked down at his phone in surprise and looked around. He was not a good spy. Natalia sighed next to him and shot back another message, obviously thinking the same thing as him. The winged one rolled his eyes and flipped off the air. He did however point to a shop in the opposite direction and drag Steve towards it, still not helping him carry stuff. The Soldier would have to confront him about that. Did he not know that Steve had no self-preservation? He had almost let the soldier kill him just because they had been friends in a time that he now no longer remembered. 

What if the winged man also had no self-preservation? The Soldier remembered that the winged one had tried to defeat heavily armed Hydra agents with nothing but a pocket knife. He scowled, now he would have to stop two idiots from getting themselves killed. He just couldn’t catch a break. 

Once the two men were out of sight they made a break from the lingerie shop. He didn’t know what he was looking for but he kept walking all the same. Natalia pointed out different shops, books, candles, clothes, music, but nothing seemed right. It wasn’t Steve. 

“What about a puppy?” She asked wearily. 

“ _No._ ” Maybe. That could be a second present. He preferred cats but Steve would like a dog. 

“Maybe you should just wrap yourself up.” She rolled her eyes as they passed yet another shop. “Damn it! Get in” She pushed him into the next shop before they could even realise where they were and pulled out her phone. “Too close.” She hissed into the small device. 

“Can we look in there? I could use some new watercolours.” He heard Steve’s voice say. Bucky looked around, suddenly mesmerised by the colours that surrounded them. Natalia had pushed them into an art shop. It was perfect! 

“No!” The Falcon yelled a little too fast not to be suspicious.

“What? Why? Sam get off me!” Steve protested as he was dragged away from the shop. Bucky watched them go. There were wearing civilian clothes and baseball hats, a weak disguise but apparently New Yorkers were either too stupid to notice or they really didn’t care. 

“I’m allergic to canvas!” Steve’s friend spluttered and Natalia stifled a giggle. It was a ridiculous statement but Steve was dumb enough to fall for it. 

“Fine whatever. Where to next?” Steve let himself be pulled away from the store. 

“Far far away. Allergies. Oh god. I can feel my eyes watering just thinking about it. Does my voice sound wheezy to you?” He rambled like an idiot and glared in the general direction of the shop. 

Bucky stopped listening after that. He was too entranced by the large set of watercolour paints and brushing in front of him. Natalia noticed him looking and handed over a black plastic card. The card had the Avengers logo embossed into the plastic in brilliant gold. He carefully picked up the set of paints and the shop owner helped him find some good quality paper. Bucky splashed out on a set of acrylics and a canvas for Steve as well. He hoped the colours would remind Steve of the fireworks they used to watch together. He didn’t look at the price when the shop owner pulled it up on the register, he just handed over the black card. Natalia tapped out her pin in morse code and he entered the number on the device. She was smart. Steve should have stayed with her. 

He clutched his bag of art supplies happily and headed back to the car with Natalia. He was going to make Steve’s birthday perfect!

* * *

 

Steve didn’t question Sam until they were back inside the latter’s car. It had been Sam’s idea to go out shopping, it was supposed to get him out the house and stop him from moping over the loss of his best friend. Steve would never admit to moping. He just missed Bucky. He had been missing Bucky ever since he watched him fall of the train and that ached had never gone away. His heart had soared with glee when he realised it was Bucky on the bridge, only to come crashing down when he realised that his friend had been a prisoner of war for over 70 years. 

“So… Who was in the art shop?” He asked when they were safely away from the shopping centre and heading back to Steve’s apartment in Brooklyn. 

“What?” Sam turned to face him with a surprised look on his face before turning back towards the road. 

“I’m not stupid Sam. You’re hiding something. I wouldn’t be surprised if Natasha was involved too. I saw she rang you.” Steve chuckled. Sam’s phone had rung just seconds before he had been pulled away from the store. He thought he saw a picture of a spider as the caller I.D. 

“Oh you saw that did you?” Sam smiled.

“Yeah I saw. So are you gonna tell me whats going on? Because if Tony is throwing me another party I am really not interested. I’d rather have a quiet night in.” He shuddered at the memory.

Steve’s birthday last year had been insane. Tony had thrown the largest party Steve had ever seen. The entire tower was painted red, white and blue and there was star shaped confetti falling from almost every ceiling. Even the fireworks were full of the American colours and the finale explosion had resembled his shield. Steve hated every second of it. The party was filled with people he barely knew because all his old team and friends were dead and the fireworks very nearly set off an anxiety attack. He’d had to keep reminding himself that he wasn’t in the trenches. He had smiled and thanked Tony for the effort but he really did not want to go through that again. He sighed. It was worse because the only times he had been able to enjoy the fireworks of 4th of July had been with Bucky before the war. They were happy memories. Bucky had convinced him until he was almost 11 that the fireworks were for him. Now Bucky was gone and the colourful explosions made him want to hide under the bed. Life was cruel. 

“I’ll let him know.” Sam nodded but stayed focused on the road. “You and Barnes?” 

“What?” 

“The museums say you were friends.” Sam added, still not really making sense to Steve. Of course they were friends. Sam had watched Steve almost give his life for Bucky. He didn’t need a museum to tell him they were friends. 

“We are friends. He’s still alive” Steve said bitterly. He didn’t like the use of past tense. That implied they were  no longer friends. Steve Rogers would be friends with Bucky Barnes until the day he died. Even if Bucky didn’t remember anymore. 

“You went to the Pride march in New York” Sam gave him a quick glance. “That was pretty cool of you. Stark’s done the speech a few times himself. He never had time for homophobes.”

“Right. What exactly are you asking me Sam?” Steve bristled. He’d seen the newspapers using his name to promote anti-gay rights. Steve had marched into the Bugle offices the same day and told the reporters exactly what he had thought. Sam didn’t believe the reports did he? 

“Well I know they always said that you and Peggy were a thing” Sam hesitated.

“We kissed once. Then I died. I’d hardly say it was a thing, it might have been I guess.” He hesitated. That had been cruel, he still cared a lot about Peggy. “We never had the chance.” He added quietly and raised his eyebrow at Sam. 

“Right.” Sam deflated, clearly still unsure about how to ask his question. “So you and Barnes were never?”

“Are you asking if I’m gay?” Steve spluttered. No one had ever thought to ask him before. Even now, when it wasn’t illegal, no one had ever questioned. 

“I guess. Are you?” Steve had gone beetroot. He never thought this was a conversation he would have to answer. He’d been so careful, mostly out of habit. Hiding his sexuality had always been a necessity before. 

“No. I don’t think so. I did love Peggy.” Steve shook his head. He couldn’t quite bring himself to say he loved Bucky more. The similarities between the two brunettes were never lost on him. He could see he had a type. 

“But you love Bucky too?” Sam asked as they pulled into the garage of his apartment. Steve turned to his friend with wide eyes. The blush was so intense that it probably went down his neck towards his chest. 

“I… How?” He was speechless. Not even the commandos had noticed the looks he gave Bucky. Sometimes he thought that Bucky looked at him the same way but he brushed it off. Bucky wasn’t queer. He was a known ladies man. There wasn’t a skirt in Brooklyn that didn’t fall for the Barnes’ charm. 

“You’d be surprised at some of the papers people write. Plus Nat wanted me to ask.” Sam laughed and they began to haul their purchases up to Steve’s apartment. They had enough food to throw a 4th of July banquet that even Stark would be impressed by.  

“Yeah. I love him. Like I said, even when I had nothing…” He smiled.

“You had Bucky. Yeah. I know. I watched you almost die because of it remember?” Sam bumped into him as they made their way upstairs. Steve did remember, he felt guilty that he had put his friend through that but he knew that he would do it all again in an instance. 

“Yeah yeah. Now do something useful and get the door will you?” They both laughed as they entered the apartment. Steve felt easier knowing that someone knew his secret. He started to wonder why he had kept it locked down since waking up. It really was better to be out. 

* * *

 

**Sam Wilson: You were right. SR loves BB. x**

Natasha grinned as she looked down at her phone. Of course he did. Now she just needed to confirm that the super soldier in her bedroom felt the same. She’d pushed James in the shower and he was still getting dressed. The Labrador retriever at her feet sniffed her shoes and reached down to pet it. It yapped happily and wagged its tail. Apparently almost buying out the art store was not enough of a present for Captain America. James had insisted that they stop at the shelter on the way back. So now she had an assassin and a dog to look after until Steve’s birthday, which was tomorrow. 24 hours to get James to realise he was in love with the best friend he barely remembered. She was starting to wish she was back in New Zealand tracking down Hydra bases in the snow.   
 ****

  **Widow: Good. I have a dog now. SR better appreciate this.**

She shot back a quick message as James appeared from the doorway. His hair had lost the dark greasy colour and his beard was trimmed. All in all he looked more human and more like the man Steve loved.   
 ****

“Thank you.” He muttered and flopped down onto the sofa. The dog bounded on top of the ex-assassin and the pair curled up together. The improvement from this morning was incredible. The longer James remained away from Hydra the faster his memories returned. Most of them were about Steve and their time in Brooklyn before the war. In fact, Nat noticed that he barely mentioned anything about Steve post-serum. She hoped that meant he wouldn’t forget that Steve was now over 6 foot of solid muscle. 

“No worries. Are you going to wrap your presents?” She asked. They had forgotten to buy birthday paper but she might have some Rudolph paper left over from Christmas. Clint had insisted she buy the hideous cartoon paper that was covered in glitter. 

“Nope.” He grinned. “Just brown paper bag. Just like I used to. It has to be perfect.” His sentenced were still short and stilted but she guess that would improve over time. It was only his first day back among friends after all. 

“Why does it matter so much?” She asked as she started her plan of attack. Operation Til the end of the line was go. 

“It’s Steve.” He responded as if that explained everything. She rolled her eyes and went to get a drink from the kitchen. 

“I know that but he’s my friend too and Sam’s, we haven’t gotten him half as much as you have.” She called through to the lounge as she searched her fridge for a beer. It had been a long day, she needed the drink. She was tempted to crack open the vodka from the cupboard but she had a feeling that James could probably drink her under the table before he got drunk.

“We’re best friends.” He stated. He glared at her and the metal plates shifted under the hoodie he was wearing. Natasha could hear the faint buzz of machinery. 

“Hmm… I’ve never gotten Barton a dog. He’s my best friend and he would love a dog. Tony once bought Pepper a giant rabbit though.” She mused, watching Barnes from the corner of her eyes. She was delighted to see a faint blush colour his cheeks. 

“I want Steve to be happy.” James ran his hands through his newly fluffy hair. “He doesn’t smile enough anymore. I’ve been watching him. He doesn’t laugh. Not like he used to. I know I’m not making that up. You couldn’t make up a laugh that beautiful.” He stammered, looking oddly flustered and human. Not something Natasha ever thought she would see on the Soldier’s face. It was almost easy to forget they were the same person.

“Beautiful?” She smirked and raised her eyebrow. He blushed and pushed the dog off his lap so he could leave the room. The dog whined but curled up on the floor instead, watching James carefully as he stalked across her apartment. 

“I never said that.” He muttered and moved towards the kitchen. He helped himself to one of the beers in her fridge and steadily avoided her gaze.

“Yes you did.” She sang happily. This was a lot easier than she had expected. Maybe 70 years of pining after each other wears down the defences.

“Well he was scientifically designed to be a perfect human specimen. Of course he’s beautiful. You’d have to be blind not to notice.” He grumbled and sipped his beer. 

“What about before the serum?” She tilted her head. She was getting closer, the Brooklyn drawl had seeped back into Bucky’s voice. Natasha noted that it was always stronger when he spoke about Steve, much like his memories. Everything about Bucky and the man he used to be was intricately linked to Steve. According to Steve it had been their inside joke that had broken through years of Hydra programming. Natasha thought it was more like a wedding vow than a joke. Now it was her mission to prove it. 

“He was prettier than all the dames in Brooklyn.” Bucky smiled happily, once again lost in his memories. “Dumber than them too. Couldn’t keep him away from a fight even if his life depended on it. God he was such a punk.” Bucky chuckled and shook his head. Natasha was stunned at the transformation of her old friend. He still hadn’t remembered their time in the Red Room together, or if he had he hadn’t mentioned it but here he was reminiscing about his time with Steve in Brooklyn as if it was only last week. 

“He was your punk though.” She smiled, almost there. 

“Damn straight.” He smiled brightly, it finally reached his eyes and Natasha was so relieved. Of course there was still a long way to go, his finger still twitched towards his knives and she saw him clock every exit and potential threat in the room. Maybe he would never fully be Bucky Barnes from Brooklyn but he could at least be Steve Rogers’ best friend, and potential lover. 

“Til the end of the line eh?” She prompted and he nodded. “You know. That always reminded me of a wedding vow. Very romantic for best friends.”

Bucky froze. His cheeks were bright red and his eyes flickered towards the window. She wasn’t on the ground floor but she had no doubt he would make the jump easily. She cursed internally, maybe she had pushed too hard. 

“We weren’t like that. I don’t know. I don’t remember. Were we?” He stammered as he struggled to search his brain for a memory that fit. 

“Steve never mentioned it. Doesn’t mean you can’t be now though. If you wanted, of course.” She watched as his brain processed her thought. His metal fingers were pulling at the strands of hair that fell in front of his face. 

“It was illegal. They killed men for being queer.” He frowned. 

“It’s better now. Steve even went to a parade.” She pulled up a picture on her phone and passed it to the soldier. He stared at the image for a while. 

“It’s very colourful.”  He noted and she laughed. “I didn’t know Steve was queer?” She shrugged as she took back her phone. Bucky seemed a little stunned by her revelation. “I need to see him.” 

He jumped out the window before Natasha could even blink, leaving her with an art shop’s worth of paint and a Labrador to look after. She stared at the open window for a moment before pulling out her phone. 

**Widow: Incoming.**

**Sam Wilson: Success? x**

**Widow: Always.**   
****

* * *

Steve was clattering around in the kitchen making sure all the food was stored safely in the fridge. It was mostly party food that could be cooked quickly in the oven. He really didn’t want to have any fuss for his birthday, a good evening with maybe the Avengers for company and a cold beer. He should probably ring Tony to make sure his friends were available to come over and not planning a secret party at the tower. Of course the one friend he wanted to see for his birthday would not be there. 

His thoughts drifted to Bucky and his conversation with Sam. Why did Nat have a sudden interest in his sexuality? It didn’t matter anyway, he would have known if Bucky was queer. He missed him though. There was Bucky sized hole in his heart that could never be filled no matter how many friends he made in this new century. He wondered where his friend was, he hadn’t seen Bucky since the DC incident. He was sure that it had been Bucky that had pulled him out of the water but Nat said that was wishful thinking, any number of shield agents could have found him before going underground. Steve had strange memories of Bucky’s face through the water though, ones that could only be explained by Bucky pulling him to shore. Sam said it could have been a dream. 

He sighed and slumped onto one of his kitchen chairs. He buried his face in the crook of his elbow and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to celebrate tomorrow. How could he celebrate another year in the new century where all his friends were dead and he was separated from the one person who ever really saw Steve Rogers. Maybe he could stay in bed and pretend it was just another day. The fireworks weren’t for him anyway. He wasn’t special. He was just Steve Rogers, a boy who just wanted to see his best friend again. 

“Stevie?” 

Steve looked up to see Bucky standing in his kitchen. His front door was wide open and Bucky was staring at him with his piercing blue eyes. He was wearing a familiar grey hoodie that Steve thought he’d lost months ago and his long hair was tied up in a messy bun. Steve blinked a couple of times, not quite trusting his own eyes. Was he dreaming this? There was no way Bucky was actually in his apartment. 

“Buck?” His voice cracked and his eyes stung with the tears that were beginning to well up. “Bucky…” He whispered again, unable to think of anything else. Bucky nodded with a small smile. 

“Kinda. I’m getting there. Comes and goes…” His voice faded out and he had a pained look in his eyes. Steve clambered off his chair and closed the gap between them so they were only a few inches apart. 

“You remember?” Steve dared to hope. The last time he had seen Bucky he was a broken man. A shell that had manipulated into a weapon by their enemies but Steve remembered the look in his friends eyes when he said their words. He saw the flicker of recognition. He had known at that moment that if he survived he would never give up on his friend.

“Sometimes. Mostly you. I remember you.” Bucky breathed “How did I ever forget you Stevie?” 

Steve searched Bucky’s eyes for permission to touch him, he seemed to understand the question and nodded. So Steve pulled his friend into his arms and they hugged for the first time in over 70 years. Steve felt like he could breathe properly again as if the weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

“Stevie…” Bucky mumbled into his shoulder and Steve pulled back so he could see his friend’s face. 

“Yeah Buck.” He replied. A strand of Bucky’s hair had fallen out of place and into his eyes. Steve’s fingers itched to sweep the loose strand off his face, to caress his cheek. He was barely resisting the urge to kiss his pink lips, they looked so soft and were pulled into a soft smile. He had forgotten how difficult it was to be so close to Bucky, constantly pushing down the feelings that made his heart soar. 

“I’m with you til the end of the line” Bucky whispered. The air was thick between them and Steve could almost feel the electricity sparking between them. 

“Yeah…” He was blushing, he was sure of it. He couldn’t think. Not when Bucky was so close. It would be so easy to press his lips against Bucky’s, to feel the soft skin beneath his fingers.

“You know, it almost sounds like a wedding vow.” Bucky smiled and looked at him through his eyelashes, a trick Steve had seen him use on countless girls. His lips were parted and Steve could feel the warmth of his breath tickle his skin. Steve took a sharp breath when finally processed Bucky’s words, a wedding vow. 

“I guess it does.” Steve’s heart was racing. It was a dumb response, why was he not better at this? He was best friends with Bucky Barnes he should be able to flirt. He was gonna ruin everything. Bucky was gonna think he was a complete ass. 

“Steve?” Bucky tilted his head as gently cupped Steve face. Steve really hoped that Bucky was about to kiss him. What if Bucky didn’t kiss him?

What if he did?

“Yeah?” He replied dumbly, barely able to hear his voice over the thumping of his heart.

“You’re thinking too loudly punk.” Bucky chuckled and ran his thumb over Steve’s lower lip.

“Shut up and kiss me jerk.” Steve’s brain finally engaged, not a moment too soon as Bucky’s lips smashed into his. Their noses bumped together and Bucky’s metal fingers gripped his waist a little too hard but Steve didn’t care because Bucky was kissing him. His eyes fluttered shut as he lost himself in the kiss. He held Bucky’s face in his hands and kissed him back, pouring every little feeling he’d been hiding since the 1930s into the kiss. He needed Bucky to know how much he meant to him, how much he love him. Too soon they parted, in need of air. Steve rested his forehead against Bucky and opened his eyes. They breathed together, Bucky’s beautiful silvery eyes watching him intently. 

“Not how I thought today would go…” Steve whispered against Bucky’s lips. 

“Hmm…Me neither. Happy Birthday Steve.”  Bucky captured Steve’s lips once more and Steve felt like he was flying. This must be a dream. It had to be a dream but god he hoped it was real. Bucky froze, definitely real then, and pulled back. “Shit!” 

“Bucky?” Steve wasn’t panicking. He had total control of his heart. He definitely didn’t feel nauseous. He laced his fingers with Bucky’s desperately hoping the world was not about to pull the rug from underneath him. 

“I got you a present and everything. I did this all wrong. It was supposed to be special. Like the fireworks from the fire escape.” Bucky shook his head and pouted. 

“I don’t need a present. I’ve got you.” Steve brushed his fingers along Bucky’s cheek bone and pressed a kiss to his nose. 

“You used to say that, before. Didn’t you?” Bucky’s brow furrowed as he tried to pull back the memory that was lost. 

“Every Birthday and Christmas.” Steve grinned.

“I may have overdone the presents.” Bucky blushed and looked down at his toes. “I couldn’t remember. I saw a billboard for a firework display and I knew I needed something. I knew that it was important. I knew you were important.”

“You used to tell me the fireworks were just for me.” Steve smiled soppily as he reminisced.

“I went shopping with Natalia. She still has your presents.” Bucky ran his metal fingers through his hair nervously. “I forgot. I needed to see you. I remembered something.”

“We can get them tomorrow. Must have been something important?” Steve caught Bucky’s metal hand with his own and kissed his knuckles. The metal was warmer than he expected, the plates shifted under his lips. It was strange but it was part of Bucky and Steve couldn’t imagine not loving something that was part of Bucky. 

“It was… It is.” Bucky breathed, watching Steve’s lips brush against the metal. He stroked Steve’s face with his flesh hand and pulled him into another kiss. It was softer than their first and second kisses, less clumsy. They were beginning to see how they fit together, it flooded Steve’s body with warmth and his heart beat erratically in his chest. “I remembered that I love you.” He whispered against Steve’s lips.

Steve’s heart skipped a beat and his head began to spin. He couldn’t remember a time where he had ever been so happy.

“I love you too Buck. Til the end of the line.”

“Til the end of the line Stevie.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Join me on tumblr @avengersbarnes for more Stucky and MCU fun. I love getting prompts and requests so don't be shy. Kudos/comments are appreciated. 
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> Yaz


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